When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize