operation harelip BJ is a go
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
