What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize