Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
