Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
COCAINE IS GR8
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
