my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
last night I used snow as a chaser
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
