Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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