You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize