Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He passed out mid-signature
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
