Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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