He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
