I want to have your abortion
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
