what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
