..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
