i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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