We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
