She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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