i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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