I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
