Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
