Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
