I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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