he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
