but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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