Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
