we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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