How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
