Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
