Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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