ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
