I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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