i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
