WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
