Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
