I CAN MOONWALK!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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