I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
