come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
