That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
