you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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