I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
