I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
