Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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