I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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