I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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