apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i came on her dog
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
