dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can feel your judgement through the phone
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
