please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
