Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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