Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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