so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
