what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
