it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
