i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize