He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
