Just cropdusted the office
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
