She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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