this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
