Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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