I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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