I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we made out on top of his cat.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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