i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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