Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize