My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
