some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
