did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
