the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
