He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize