let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
