you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
