gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
