i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
