New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
